Watching... Now

Have you tried the "Now?"  Bless you if you got it. I have been trying to be in the "Now" for sometime. I am not being hard on myself for not getting the nirvana "Now." Not long ago I discovered that I had been using the wrong circuitry as my navigator, my ego thought system. Wrong choice to be in the "Now" with, it was an honest search only to discover that "I can't get there from here!" No one can.

Once that was noted, my next step was the watching of myself.... watching myself in action, movement, interactions, quietness & watching my thoughts. Watching from outside of myself at myself (hope this makes sense). Just watching; interactions with others, relaxing, breathing, watching...there comes a sweet quietness when watching. Watching my thoughts as they arise, letting thoughts come up & watching thoughts go, like a rise & fall, expanding & contracting, like an inhalation & exaltation of breath, once a breath happens it's gone unto a new breath, just like my thoughts, one thought preceding another, here one moment gone the next...anew. The difference this time is that I watch everything about myself and there is a space to be, freely uninterrupted. This watching lets me be free from attaching to my thoughts, giving thoughts no attention to fire up with a judgment or analyze regardless of how important my mind thinks the thought is, no matter if my mind thinks it is a brilliant thought or an urgent "pay attention" thought, I can let each thought be, like a breath in & out, rising & falling when  I am watching, I do not let thought interrupt the "Now." I am not a thought.