Feeling broken is a dyer straight painful experience had by the personal I and yet also an opportunity to drop all thoughts of life as you know it. That is how it happened for me. At a time of severe suffering and pain, life as I knew it suddenly made absolutely no sense whats so ever. Everything I had been taught and believed made absolutely no sense. What was the point of existence if one suffered to this degree and knowing that others suffer even more...why? How could such a creation that suffered so, be worth anything to a creator who witnessed such suffering in ones creations? Who would possibly create such abilities for one to suffer so and call it life? Why would one want to continue to live under such painful suffering and for what purpose? These were my questions that prompted the lead into Self inquiry. It was at this time that all my thoughts and beliefs as I knew and understood them, literally had no space or place within me. My panoramic view of life was shattered along with the clarity that any attempts to put things back was an unattainable goal. While this experience was being had the natural external life around me ironically filled me with what I can only describe as joy. This delightful joy moved through me from:watching birds and listening to their songs, living plants shinning with perfection, movement was grace, smells delightful, appearances of the sky was an ever-changing masterpiece, the purity of my young children kept me quietly breathing, my physical bodies ability to move with strength, insightful visions...all and more was apparent with a deep stillness while my suffering thought system was being broken.
Many years later the path of Self inquiry answered my questions. A solid anchored belief that I am a separate body, separate personal being simply is not so. There were countless times my mind played tricks and countless times I would navigate differently spinning my wheels in Egoville. It's OK to feel broken but know that there is another avenue present just for you that is not broken and full of joy!
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